There are millions of people in the world. When we are born, we have it inside us to want to have someone 'have our back.' Loneliness is the most profoundly disabling emotion one could have - whether it's by death or by breakup. Once we get a taste of having someone who you feel you can't live without, it's like a drug. Even at the worse times, you need that makeup fix so that everything will be okay again. You just want normal.
I have a friend I've been talking to recently. Whenever we drop each other an email, we check on each other's relationships. She is heading for divorce the last time I talked to her and you know I felt that this wasn't what she wanted and that hurt knowing she was hurting.
Here's the thing. No matter what happens in a relationship, you two shared something very special and it's that special quality that keeps people in a state of limbo. One or the other has moved on leaving you alone. And then you say, "How can he be my soul mate if this is what happened? Aren't soul mates supposed to be with each other forever and live happily ever after?" And the person goes through the grieving stage, the hating stage, then the I don't give a damn stage. Some people stay at one stage longer than the other or perhaps go through one, then another, and then back to the first stage. They can't seem to heal and get to the last stage even if they try to go on with other people who end up not being 'him.'
This is the soul mate spiritual connection. What a lot of people don't realize is that some of our soul mates aren't supposed to stay in your life but for a certain amount of time. When you cling to the belief he will be back, that only prolongs the inevitable. The reasoning behind the belief that some soul mates are only supposed to be in your life for a certain amount of time comes from the fact that all of us were put on this earth for a certain reason. Having people enter your life whether on a soul mate level or just a casual acquaintance level, they are set up to enter your life just as you are set up to enter theirs. If you lived in a one man or woman existence, say the world had ended and there was no one else around, you wouldn't last but so long and not because of non-survivor skills but that the human psyche can't perform at its absolute best. It's what we are all made of. Those people who claim they are comfortable living by themselves, they have trained themselves to shut off that valve in order to survive. But what that does is closes the door.
What the article I read implies is that people believe there is one person out there for them and that's not true and that's my point. Again, there are not one but many soul mates out there for you and they are all supposed to come into your life at one point or another to help you with something or you help them. Not only that, there are three levels - karmic, companion and twin soul - and there is another called 'soul groups' which are basically a bunch of friends you hang out with that have your back no matter what. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. I have a group of ladies I go shopping with now and then and every single one of them has each other's backs. None talk about the other behind their back. It's a soul mate group from heaven and something I embrace with love and respect and consider myself fortunate to know such a group of lovely ladies.
Whenever someone talks about 'the one,' they are really referring to the twin soul relationship. I have experienced the twin soul relationship; unfortunately he died many years ago. It took some time before I even realized he was my twin soul but the characteristics matched up to what the twin soul relationship is all about as I learned later. How neat that would have been to find that out when he was still alive?
The twin soul relationship is the hardest of all the soul mate relationships because there are so many extenuating circumstances which prevent them from being with one another for very long (think Romeo and Juliet) which even the most die-hard relationship experts are trying to figure out and I'm one of them. When you say that's hog-wash because you know of many relationships where the husband and wife just adore each other and are married until the day they die, I'm not saying they can't be twin souls. I'm just saying that through years of talking to people about their relationships and by what I know about the twin soul relationship, nine times out of ten something prevents them from being together for very long. That 1% who do make it? I think you have to do a study of the two people in question to determine what happened along their life's journey that they 'stuck it out' in the best and worst circumstances and put all that information together to determine what happened to them in relation to others who didn't make it.
My personal theory on that is simply this. Everyone has a life path. Along the life path, there are joys, sorrows, uphill and downhill climbs and even detours along the way. That's the human side of us. Inside all humans there possesses a spiritual side that maybe they are tuned into, maybe not. If the persons involved in a twin soul relationship have already been through the uphill and downhill climbs and are still together, they, whether they realize it or not, have come to peace with their spiritual side. Until we all come to peace with our spiritual sides, I believe we will just go through our lives as an ordinary Joe. In all these years I have talked about the soul mate relationship, I have come to peace with my spiritual side. Sure, I still have detours (that's me fighting my human side), but when it comes down to the truth and what really matters in my life, I do know. Whether I act on it, that's debatable because after all I am human like the rest of you.
So when someone says soul mates are nonsense, you look them in the eye and tell them not believing is closing the door and they'll never get to Higher Self (happiness).
I'll leave you with a quote I found the other day and here it is:
"A woman can't change a man because she loves him, a man changes himself because he loves her."
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