“A soulmate is the one person whose love is powerful enough to motivate you to meet your soul, to do the emotional work of self-discovery, of awakening.” – Kenny Loggins

“In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.” – Maya Angelou


“A soulmate is someone to whom we feel profoundly connected, as though the communicating and communing that take place between us were not the product of intentional efforts, but rather a divine grace.” – Thomas Moore

“Most people have more than one soulmate. A soulmate can come in the form of a life partner, friend, child, or lover. A soul mate can be someone with whom you share a spiritual path, a joint work in the world, or a commitment to be parents to certain souls. It can be one whose growth you are sponsoring, such as a child.” – Sanaya Roman

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One of the most frequent questions I am asked is how to tell the difference between a karmic soul mate, companion soul mate or twin soul. One thing you need to remember is that all soul mates - whether it is an ongoing relationship or a tragic one - are just as important as the other.

If you want to believe outside the box (which I do), I wholeheartedly believe that we have not one soul mate but many. If this is true, how would we even start to differentiate between them?

Let's begin with the karmic soul mate. A karmic soul mate is more or less a very close friend or family member for whom you have a special connection. You realize there is a special connection but it goes much deeper. There may or may not be sexual relations (only applies to friends; God help you if it is family). But the sex part would only occur if it was mainly a physical thing and more than likely there would be no marital relations with this person unless the two of you evolve into the companion soul mate category which we'll talk about next. Companion soul mates can start off as friends first after all. So, not to confuse you, a karmic soul mate is a friend or family member who comes into your life to be by your side indefinitely. Even if life takes you thousands of miles away, you still are connected to him or her and they of you. So how to tell if that special person who is in your life is your karmic soul mate? It's someone who comes into your life to have your back, is there for you when the chips are down and loves you unconditionally.

The companion soul mate differs from the karmic. This special person may end up as your husband or wife and with the purpose of extending the "family" way of life. It may or may not end up with having kids but all the qualities of the companion soul mate points to it. For example, if the couple can't have kids, this still puts them in the companion soul mate category. It's usually the one you marry or you may just live together depending on the circumstances. While the companion soul mate category does have karmic soul mate qualities, it's a whole category of itself. If you were in a karmic soul mate category and you end up marrying this person and having sexual relations, more than likely this is your companion soul mate. Does the companion soul mate relationship last? What's eerie about this category is that this is the one category that could be the most volatile. What I mean by that is that divorce is always looming because other soul mates come into one or the other's life which causes problems.  However, if the couple can get through whatever problem enters their relationship with flying colors through communication and unconditional love, this relationship will be successful.

The third soul mate category is the coveted twin soul. The twin soul relationship is often misunderstood as "the one." Everyone believes there is a "the one" for them. Why this is misunderstood is because all the soul mates who come into your life do so for specific reasons. Your twin soul is just as important as your karmic or companion soul mate. Think of your life as a road map. Begin at Point A (birth) and end at Point B (physical death). Most people over the age of 60 for example can retrace their life and come up with someone who they believed to be their twin soul. For those under 30 for example, they've only lived half their life so hope is still there if they don't believe they've found their twin soul yet. The funny thing about it is that your twin soul may have already entered your life only you didn't realize it. That spiritual connection is your key to figuring out who this might be. And what's lovely about this is that it can be man, woman, whatever. See why this is often a hard category to figure out given the fact we think the twin soul mate is "the one"? All soul mates are important. There are some people who are more in tune to their spiritual side and this helps tremendously because the twin soul mate matches the spiritual side of you. What is terrible about this relationship is that it often ends tragically. Think Romeo and Juliet. Not to say yours will end tragically of course. If you believe in many lives, your twin soul comes into each life so if it does end tragically, you will see him or her in another life. It just wasn't meant to be in this lifetime and that's why the coveted twin soul is the hardest soul mate to attain.

What we can learn from this is that all soul mates who enter your life do so for reasons that correlate to your life's path in this life. There are many more to come in future lives.

Ahh...serendipity. Serendipity means the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way. By "chance" is your key word here. When something happens by "chance" in a happy way, it's like the most beautiful thing. When you are looking for your soul mate and tend to force it (impatient people know what I'm talking about) and it doesn't happen, you get frustrated. But when it happens by chance, you can only shake your head at the luck.

I read the most heartwarming story today at Huffington Post. Check it out and watch the video when you get a chance. It's heartbreaking when people give up finding their soul mate. Sometimes even they think they have found them only it backfires. I've given reasons before about this and one of the main things is that the timing was all wrong. What gives us hope is that if it was meant to be, they will come back into your life when the timing is right. Just keep thinking about that path you are destined to walk and the lessons you need to learn along the way before that happens. You can't go to Point A and expect to reach Point B in a day. Or a week. Or perhaps years. And people get impatient and rightly so. But...until the one that you perceive as the one you want to give you unconditional love forever comes into your life, meet your other soul mates who are put on that path to bring you important lessons or you bring them. Life is funny who it works that way.

Something fun you can do before that happens, make a list of all the people you connected with on a spiritual basis - good or bad. Past boyfriends/girlfriends - family members and pets too - anyone living and breathing who you connected with on a special level, and think of how they enriched your life. After you are finished, look the list over again and see if anyone stands out over the other? That could be your cue. Like they say....maybe it wasn't meant to be before now.

May all your soul mate dreams come true!

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Soul mates. The very phrase conjures up images of happily-ever-after and someone to lean on when things get tough. And then...reality check. You find yourself sitting home watching Blind Date with a boxful of tissues because your supposed soul mate ditched you for that co-worker you just knew was putting the moves on your one and only.

No one likes to be in this situation, but it’s happened to the best of us. As they say, some things are meant to be, but were there some things that could have been preventable?

Read the rest of article at Huffington Post.

I need you to watch this video:
 Let's see a show of hands who has an ex that keeps coming back into your life whether it's on a platonic relationship basis or not?

Thought so.  I was listening to the words to this song the other day and I had to chuckle because it's the truth - those who come into our lives on a boyfriend/girlfriend level never really go away, do they?  Even though you tell them it's over, for some odd reason they keep popping up at the darndest times.

Here's my reasoning on what is going on.  As I have said before, everyone who comes into your life on a soul mate basis does so for a reason.  It's up to you to figure out that reason.  Once you realize the reason or think you do, it's not over.  Even if you have gone on with your life and he has gone on with his, you two still manage to bump into each other, call each other for platonic reasons and even though you have no intentions on having the same relationship with this person, they're always popping up and stirring up whatever emotions you had in the past which may or may not be healthy for either one of you or the new soul mates who have entered your lives.

But you have to understand that the bond is never going to go away.  Even if they die, that bond is still there.  The reasoning behind this is that we as humans can't understand it sometimes, but it is our spirits who are connecting and won't let go.  Your spirit is trying to relay the message to you that they don't want to completely sever all communication with you, but the human side of us is quite confused by this.

Another side of the coin is that there could still be unresolved issues that is preventing permanent contact with this person and until they are resolved, this person will still play an active part in your life at some point.

A lot of times when a person breaks up with someone, the first thing they think of are their ex's especially if they have become communicative over the years.

But the real reason is the spirit won't let go, no matter what the human side of us tells us what's going on.

Think about that.

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I read an article today which began, "You want to know one reason why so many Christian marriages end up in divorce?" and I thought here we go again, another holier than thou opinion on why marriages break up.  According to the article, the reasoning basically boiled down to the author of the article articulating why there is no such thing as soul mates.  I am assuming the guy probably was burned a few times as we all have been, but what he doesn't realize (shame on him) is that whatever person comes into your life on a spiritual level, he/she is your soul mate and I'll explain further.

There are millions of people in the world.  When we are born, we have it inside us to want to have someone 'have our back.'  Loneliness is the most profoundly disabling emotion one could have - whether it's by death or by breakup.  Once we get a taste of having someone who you feel you can't live without, it's like a drug.  Even at the worse times, you need that makeup fix so that everything will be okay again.  You just want normal.

I have a friend I've been talking to recently.  Whenever we drop each other an email, we check on each other's relationships.  She is heading for divorce the last time I talked to her and you know I felt that this wasn't what she wanted and that hurt knowing she was hurting. 

Here's the thing.  No matter what happens in a relationship, you two shared something very special and it's that special quality that keeps people in a state of limbo.  One or the other has moved on leaving you alone.  And then you say, "How can he be my soul mate if this is what happened?  Aren't soul mates supposed to be with each other forever and live happily ever after?" And the person goes through the grieving stage, the hating stage, then the I don't give a damn stage.  Some people stay at one stage longer than the other or perhaps go through one, then another, and then back to the first stage.  They can't seem to heal and get to the last stage even if they try to go on with other people who end up not being 'him.'

This is the soul mate spiritual connection.  What a lot of people don't realize is that some of our soul mates aren't supposed to stay in your life but for a certain amount of time.  When you cling to the belief he will be back, that only prolongs the inevitable. The reasoning behind the belief that some soul mates are only supposed to be in your life for a certain amount of time comes from the fact that all of us were put on this earth for a certain reason.  Having people enter your life whether on a soul mate level or just a casual acquaintance level, they are set up to enter your life just as you are set up to enter theirs.  If you lived in a one man or woman existence, say the world had ended and there was no one else around, you wouldn't last but so long and not because of non-survivor skills but that the human psyche can't perform at its absolute best.  It's what we are all made of.  Those people who claim they are comfortable living by themselves, they have trained themselves to shut off that valve in order to survive.  But what that does is closes the door.

What the article I read implies is that people believe there is one person out there for them and that's not true and that's my point.  Again, there are not one but many soul mates out there for you and they are all supposed to come into your life at one point or another to help you with something or you help them.  Not only that, there are three levels - karmic, companion and twin soul - and there is another called 'soul groups' which are basically a bunch of friends you hang out with that have your back no matter what.  I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.  I have a group of ladies I go shopping with now and then and every single one of them has each other's backs.  None talk about the other behind their back.  It's a soul mate group from heaven and something I embrace with love and respect and consider myself fortunate to know such a group of lovely ladies.

Whenever someone talks about 'the one,' they are really referring to the twin soul relationship.  I have experienced the twin soul relationship; unfortunately he died many years ago.  It took some time before I even realized he was my twin soul but the characteristics matched up to what the twin soul relationship is all about as I learned later.  How neat that would have been to find that out when he was still alive?

The twin soul relationship is the hardest of all the soul mate relationships because there are so many extenuating circumstances which prevent them from being with one another for very long (think Romeo and Juliet) which even the most die-hard relationship experts are trying to figure out and I'm one of them.  When you say that's hog-wash because you know of many relationships where the husband and wife just adore each other and are married until the day they die, I'm not saying they can't be twin souls. I'm just saying that through years of talking to people about their relationships and by what I know about the twin soul relationship, nine times out of ten something prevents them from being together for very long.  That 1% who do make it?  I think you have to do a study of the two people in question to determine what happened along their life's journey that they 'stuck it out' in the best and worst circumstances and put all that information together to determine what happened to them in relation to others who didn't make it.

My personal theory on that is simply this.  Everyone has a life path.  Along the life path, there are joys, sorrows, uphill and downhill climbs and even detours along the way.  That's the human side of us.  Inside all humans there possesses a spiritual side that maybe they are tuned into, maybe not.  If the persons involved in a twin soul relationship have already been through the uphill and downhill climbs and are still together, they, whether they realize it or not, have come to peace with their spiritual side.  Until we all come to peace with our spiritual sides, I believe we will just go through our lives as an ordinary Joe.  In all these years I have talked about the soul mate relationship, I have come to peace with my spiritual side. Sure, I still have detours (that's me fighting my human side), but when it comes down to the truth and what really matters in my life, I do know.  Whether I act on it, that's debatable because after all I am human like the rest of you.

So when someone says soul mates are nonsense, you look  them in the eye and tell them not believing is closing the door and they'll never get to Higher Self (happiness).

I'll leave you with a quote I found the other day and here it is:

"A woman can't change a man because she loves him, a man changes himself because he loves her."

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Everyone dreams of the perfect relationship.  We all go into each of our relationships knowing there will be times when certain things don't mesh with our own beliefs, morals, what have you.  In the early stages of our relationships, we are so blinded by love that we either put up with the differences or we try to change either ourselves or our partner.  When it gets to be frustrating, we start questioning our choices.

There is a song by Paula Abdul that was recorded years ago called Opposites Attract.  I loved that song, but I always wondered that while they might attract, do they actually last for the long haul?

That's a good question.  Opposites attract, but do they last?

Take Sonja for example. Sonja was a successful businesswoman.  She put off relationships to further her career and she finally got to a point where she was ready to let someone into her life on an intimate basis.  Sonja not only exceeded her limitations in the job success department, she also exceeded in finding out who she was as a person.  In a sense, she was a perfect candidate for a mate.  She was not only attractive, she had a good job and she knew who she was and wasn't settling for just anyone.  She had many "man" friends, but something was always lacking with each of them.  She had been hurt in the past, before her climb to success, and she knew what to look for in that perfect mate and wasn't going to make the same mistakes.  Not only that, Sonja had a good head on her shoulder and knew everyone wasn't perfect and kept an open mind whenever someone new came into her life.

She didn't have to look long.  An old flame came back into her life and while she knew there were obstacles with this person, her feelings started to interfere with her brain.  Before long, she was into the relationship at the point where she felt she was losing her identity as a woman who knew what she wanted.  She was starting to get frustrated and resentful at all the time she was devoting to this man and it was all because of the "opposites attract" syndrome.  What Sonja had in terms of success in any way you look at it, this man went the complete opposite direction.  While true love does overcome the differences in some cases, for some, it only escalates the frustration.

It wasn't as if she was being selfish on her part, she was being frustrated at the no calls and contact was sparse with him at times.  She knew something was wrong and when your gut instincts tell you that it isn't a normal relationship, something's gotta give.  Even though she would tell him that something was frustrating her (and she had every right to do this), it didn't matter.  Normal mates will make changes to see what they are doing to cause these pent up frustrations with their loved one if the reasons are understandable.

The thing Sonja needs to understand is that there is always give and take in every relationship but if it adds up to her doing all the work in the romance and other departments, she has a choice.  She can either "live" with it and hope he'll change (this often never happens) or give him one more chance and explain her feelings to him and see if he comes around.  If it happens over and over, well, it's best Sonja moves on.

So that's it in a nutshell as far as relationships go, but how about from the soul mate perspective?

Keeping in mind that everyone who comes into your life on a "special" level is your soul mate in one aspect or another, how does this guy stack up?  Sonja has to realize that he either has come back into her life on a friend (karmic) level, long term relationship (companionship) level or is her long lost twin soul and while the twin souls do meet lots of obstacles more than any other relationship, the only way you can define that is to look on the spiritual level.  When someone you are with feels so right and you can almost know what the other is saying without hearing them say it, that's connecting on a spiritual level.  With little communication between the two, it doesn't sound like the twin soul to me.  It sounds more like the karmic relationship - friends until eternity.  I guess time will tell.

I'm curious to know if the special someone in your life enjoys a lot of things that you do or is the complete opposite?  Leave a comment to let us know!

May your soul mate dreams come true!

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