My boyfriend of two years is what I believe to be my soul mate. He has an unusual relationship with his ex though. They have three children together and he's constantly over to his ex's house telling me it's just to see the kids but she's constantly texting and calling him for one thing or another. If she needs something, he's right there and gets mad when I bring up the fact that I don't like it. I love him but because of a health issue, he isn't passionate towards me like he used to be but this is the main thing that irritates me. Am I making too big of a deal about this? Sometimes I wonder if I'm seeing something that isn't there. But still, it's driving me nuts. Please help?
I always tell people to go with their gut. If you are feeling something is off, not all might be right in Denmark. The first thing people should do is not to dismiss any kind of intuition regarding their relationships or anything else about their life. If you are into your body's reaction to any kind of stimuli, you can do it and should listen to it. On the other hand, some people go off the deep end because they are not reading their mate's actions correctly and that is probably why you are questioning the situation.
The soul mate relationship aside, let's talk about what is going on here, then we'll delve into the soul mate aspect of it and this might help. I think the one reason you are reading more into it is that when you mention that he's not passionate toward you regardless of the fact that it might be because of a health issue, that sends a message to your brain that he isn't in love with you like he once was. The fact that he is spending time with his ex contributes to your insecurity over this and justly so. I figure that you've already talked to him about this when you mention that he blows up whenever you bring it up.
Let's try to figure out why both of you get angry when this happens first.
We tend to take things at face value. You see it that he's cheating. He sees it that he's visiting his children. Reality might suggest he's honestly seeing his children but since he's not showing you much interest, you see it as cheating in a nondescript way. People in the worse health conditions possible can still find ways to show their mate attention and love if they actually and genuinely love their mate. Does he cuddle? Does he give you things that doesn't have to cost a lot of money or any money such as a freshly picked flower out of a field? Does he respond to your calls for help without offering excuses? If not, then we do have a problem.
So let's look at it from the soul mate point of view.
Everyone has certain people who come into their lives for specific reasons and they can be called your soul mates. Some soul mate relationships can be fulfilling while others can be learning lessons in order for you to grow. Aside from love, what other reason can you say your soul mate came into your life? There will always be a reason.
Some soul mates come into your life to teach you something or you teach them and they are often your karmic soul mates. Some come into your life for childbearing and they are called companion soul mates. Some come into your life on the cusp which brings in both karmic and companion soul mate qualities.
Your boyfriend and his ex were/are companion soul mates. No matter what. They came into each other's lives for the reason to have children unbeknownst to either one of them perhaps. Even though they drifted apart, that connection still exists. They both CHOSE to go separate paths and it's not fair to you for him not to acknowledge this if he doesn't show it.
What he needs to do is create boundaries which may or may not be in his makeup. In order for your relationship to work, he needs to separate both relationships. It's like the soul mate gods are playing tag with him - go this way, go that way...
Nothing will ever get fixed until he acknowledges that what he has with you needs to be paid more attention to. Little does he know, that when this happens, he will finally be on the right path. I can't believe that you were only brought into his life to be put through misery. No one deserves that and everyone deserves happiness.
My advice would be for him to realize that what he has with you will be jeopardized until he learns to separate both relationships and look upon the relationship with you as something that should be nurtured and celebrated. If he can't do that, it's time to rethink the relationship.
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