My boyfriend of two years is what I believe to be my soul mate. He has an unusual relationship with his ex though. They have three children together and he's constantly over to his ex's house telling me it's just to see the kids but she's constantly texting and calling him for one thing or another. If she needs something, he's right there and gets mad when I bring up the fact that I don't like it. I love him but because of a health issue, he isn't passionate towards me like he used to be but this is the main thing that irritates me. Am I making too big of a deal about this? Sometimes I wonder if I'm seeing something that isn't there. But still, it's driving me nuts. Please help?

I always tell people to go with their gut. If you are feeling something is off, not all might be right in Denmark. The first thing people should do is not to dismiss any kind of intuition regarding their relationships or anything else about their life. If you are into your body's reaction to any kind of stimuli, you can do it and should listen to it. On the other hand, some people go off the deep end because they are not reading their mate's actions correctly and that is probably why you are questioning the situation.

The soul mate relationship aside, let's talk about what is going on here, then we'll delve into the soul mate aspect of it and this might help. I think the one reason you are reading more into it is that when you mention that he's not passionate toward you regardless of the fact that it might be because of a health issue, that sends a message to your brain that he isn't in love with you like he once was. The fact that he is spending time with his ex contributes to your insecurity over this and justly so. I figure that you've already talked to him about this when you mention that he blows up whenever you bring it up.

Let's try to figure out why both of you get angry when this happens first.

We tend to take things at face value. You see it that he's cheating. He sees it that he's visiting his children. Reality might suggest he's honestly seeing his children but since he's not showing you much interest, you see it as cheating in a nondescript way.  People in the worse health conditions possible can still find ways to show their mate attention and love if they actually and genuinely love their mate. Does he cuddle? Does he give you things that doesn't have to cost a lot of money or any money such as a freshly picked flower out of a field? Does he respond to your calls for help without offering excuses? If not, then we do have a problem.

So let's look at it from the soul mate point of view.

Everyone has certain people who come into their lives for specific reasons and they can be called your soul mates. Some soul mate relationships can be fulfilling while others can be learning lessons in order for you to grow. Aside from love, what other reason can you say your soul mate came into your life? There will always be a reason.

Some soul mates come into your life to teach you something or you teach them and they are often your karmic soul mates. Some come into your life for childbearing and they are called companion soul mates. Some come into your life on the cusp which brings in both karmic and companion soul mate qualities.

Your boyfriend and his ex were/are companion soul mates. No matter what. They came into each other's lives for the reason to have children unbeknownst to either one of them perhaps. Even though they drifted apart, that connection still exists. They both CHOSE to go separate paths and it's not fair to you for him not to acknowledge this if he doesn't show it.

What he needs to do is create boundaries which may or may not be in his makeup. In order for your relationship to work, he needs to separate both relationships. It's like the soul mate gods are playing tag with him - go this way, go that way...

Nothing will ever get fixed until he acknowledges that what he has with you needs to be paid more attention to. Little does he know, that when this happens, he will finally be on the right path. I can't believe that you were only brought into his life to be put through misery. No one deserves that and everyone deserves happiness.

My advice would be for him to realize that what he has with you will be jeopardized until he learns to separate both relationships and look upon the relationship with you as something that should be nurtured and celebrated. If he can't do that, it's time to rethink the relationship.

If we are really soul mates as it has been said....how long should the engagement be without rushing into marriage and yet waiting a reasonable amount of time?

Marriage can be a beautiful thing.  The engagement process is a beautiful time in itself what with preparing for this next stage of life where you will be united by holy matrimony.  If you feel that the natural next step is marriage, the amount of time to wait without rushing into things is when you feel it's right - trust your gut instinct.  If something is delaying the decision for you, which I feel that might be happening here, try to zero on what it is that you're waiting for or what it is that is delaying what I feel you want.  My mother-in-law told me years ago when my husband and I married to wait until we could afford to have kids.  I told her if we waited for that to happen, it would never happen.

With that said, take the time to get to know each other's quirks - the good and the bad.  What is endearing now might not be so endearing later.  Those clothes he leaves around that never make it to the hamper? You're in the pre-honeymoon stage so it may not bother you now, but after a few years of marriage and you're a neatnik, it might make a difference then. Is there total trust?  Can he go off with his buddies (and believe me it will happen) and leave you home alone?  Will you be comfortable in your own skin to understand he needs his space away from you as well as you need your space away from him from time to time?  Does he expect dinner at a certain time and you hate to cook?  Is there open communication between the two of you?  Do you sulk when things are upsetting you or does he hold things back thinking you'll blow a fuse?  The longer you are in the engagement process, the better because you are learning about one another.  From a soul mate standpoint, the two of you came together for a reason and if you could step back and figure out the reason, you're way ahead of the game. No one can predict the future, but if you listen to your inner self, you'll know when the time is right.

Good luck to you!

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Can some karmic relationships be romantic?

I have found that when karmic relationships become romantic, it is only to fulfill a physical need and possibly even an emotional need. If the person who comes into your life on a soul mate basis, but is purely to teach you something about yourself or you teach them, once that “need” is fulfilled, the two will part and go on to new relationships.

The karmic soul mate relationship is rarely sexual or romantic in nature, but if there is something to be learned or desired, it can happen and does happen. The relationship with this person, however, becomes a confused one. It’s a big difference between love and lust and lust is usually the reason “romance” is often misinterpreted for having a “need” fulfilled.

If you are in a karmic relationship and you know that that’s what it is and nothing more, do not confuse love with lust or you may end up more confused in the long run. Accept the relationship for what it is, but keep in mind the reasons why this relationship is not taken to the next level.

There will be signs as to why this is not taken to the next level such as commitment on one of the other’s part. Without the commitment, this relationship is definitely a karmic relationship and is meant to teach you something about yourself. Perhaps you are longing for a relationship and will settle for less and that’s what this is. However, this person is meant to come into your life for a reason. Figure it out, and then learn from it. Meanwhile, keep in mind that there will be someone out there for you to give you what you need with the commitment. You have to be patient and that’s the problem with most people. They look at a relationship as the real thing when they know in their heart, it’s not. Above all, don’t rush into anything without giving it your utmost thought. While karmic partners are necessary in your self-growth, they are not there to give you the intimacy you desire.

Hope this helps and good luck to you!

I have been reunited with my first love and we have been in touch through lunch, emails, and voicemails for the last four years. We are both currently married. I want to know if we will ever be sexually passionate again and be a couple as we once were? I truly believe he is my twin soul mate.

Once a soul mate, always a soul mate. It’s very normal to harbor feelings for our first love, so don’t feel guilty about it! As for him being your twin soul, I’d have to know more, but the way it sounds, it looks to me that he might be one of your companion soul mates.

Companion soul mates are just as special as your twin soul, so even if he does not turn out to be your twin soul, he was and still is a very important part of your life. As for as being the couple you once were, that is highly unlikely because the couple you once were has gone through a lot of life lessons and with that, growing pains, and the two of you have become entirely different persons you once were. While the feelings can be stirred and the passions reignited, the road you both are on now is completely different. You both have married, and I’m taking it that if you and he feel that there is a need to reunite, there are problems within both your marriages that must be solved. If they cannot be solved, it’s time to move on. Whether that includes you two becoming one again, it would depend on the factors involved. Because the spirits of the two of you are fighting to be rejoined, the reality of it is that it’s not that simple. The first thing you need to do is decide whether breaking up your marriage is worth it.

If the marriage has problems that can be resolved, my first instinct is to tell you to at least try to work it out because you don’t want to make a big mistake. I’ve heard of cases where two soul mates who are in marriages meet and decide to leave their spouses for their new soul mate only to find they wish they had at least tried to resolve whatever problems there were in the marriage because, in reality, they still loved them. Thus, they found themselves in the soul mate triangle, and even more problems surfaced because of it.

If the problems cannot be resolved, then there’s your cue. But, unless you want to find yourself in a three-way soul mate relationship which has its own set of problems, I’d try to tie up loose ends by looking inside your marriage and seeing what you think the problem might be. If there is a communication problem, encourage your spouse to talk to you about it. If there are drugs, alcohol, or abuse-related issues, my advice to you would be to pack up your bags because it’s only going to get worse without any outside help.

With that said, there is no harm in communicating with your previous soul mate because there is a strong reason why he has resurfaced, and I’m figuring it is because your spirit is crying out for help concerning whatever it is that is going on in your marriage. He has been called to help you with this. Don’t look at it as an opportunity to escape. Look at it as a golden opportunity to find out in which direction you need to go. Listen to your inner self. Your inner self will tell you what you need to do and where you need to go.